© Mark Sudan
Me on the left and you on the right
the way we laid our bodies the start of the night.
My head on two pillows as yours lay on one
tired from the day and all we had done.
One arm under pillow, the other kept you warm
I'd pull you in close during thunder and storm.
I still remember the sweet scent of your hair
As we closed our eyes and I held you for prayer.
The rise and fall of breath from your chest
would remind me of that day that God had blessed.
Your face would go soft and lips would yawn
You'd fall asleep with the television still on.
Middle of the night your house stayed warm
The fan on high was always the norm.
I'd stolen the blanket and kicked down the sheet
The only pillow you had now lay at your feet.
Sometimes I'd wake while there you still lay
I'd creep to your bedside and kneel as to pray.
I would lean in close as if to steal a kiss
These moments of affection are the ones that I miss.
I’d sit and watch while you lay there and snore
I’d sometimes fall asleep with my head on the floor.
You always thought you slept without peep
Instead of counting them you baa’d like a sheep.
Your body lay still ‘cept for the rise and fall
Of your beautiful body that lay there in sprawl.
But the most memorable part of those sleepless nights
Wasn’t the snoring, the prayer or absence of lights-
It was the way in which your eyes would flicker
Beneath lid and lash I would try not to snicker.
To me it was funny to just watch them move
As if they were dancers stepping to groove.
I could only guess what your mind would dream
Maybe thoughts of our future and how it would seem.
Would it be an uphill battle, a test for all time?,
Or simply steps in a stairwell that together we’d climb.
Most of the mornings you’d wake with a smile
And some you slept in for at least a little while.
But now these memories are just written in line
And filed in a cabinet in the back of my mind.
Memory of you sleeping, snoring, eyes wide shut
Now my heart beating, bleeding, crimson and cut.
Your eyelids would flutter as your eyes would dance
And I’d pray to God to just give me the chance-
To fix what I'd done and to right the wrong
Of the poor choices that I'd hidden for oh so long.
These are the thoughts I now remember the most
the memories in my heart I still hold so close.
Times I sat by your side as night was still grey
All through the morning before dark turned to day.
I’d ask Him to bless this love I’d forsaken
Taken for granted and stole for the taking.
Unfortunately I received a different kind of answer
but you will always remain my eyelid dancer.